Meliz Mamidad

So Griffin is absolutely adorable about Christmas this year. I guess it's because he is more aware of what Christmas is now. The other night we were driving home from a friend's house and he noticed Christmas lights. He got so excited and asked me to make sure Daddy put up Christmas lights at home. So we drove through our neighborhood to see if anyone had their lights up yet and one person had lots of lights. We were holding hands we often do (I put my hand in the back seat on his lap and we hold hands that way). As soon as we pulled up he got so excited and gasped at them! It was sooooo cute. At one point I let go of his hand and as we drove off he said, "Mommy, will you please hold my hand again?". So I held his hand and told him holding his hand was one of my favorite things to do, and he responded with, "I like holding your hand too mommy". I about died. That's why I'm writing about it so I never forget it!

Saturday we were in Publix and Feliz Navidad came over the speakers. He heard it and immediately started singing "Meliz Mamidad" over and over. That night in the bath he asked me to sing it for him so I sang the entire chorus and he sang along with me. He pronounced the spanish words pretty well! Then, this morning he decided we were the doodle bops and he made an announcement through a funnel he found in the kitchen. He yelled, "ladies and gentelmen, it's the doodle bops". Then he made me stand up in the middle of the living room and sing Meliz Mamidad and play a pretend guitar. It was so funny. Then it was his turn and after I announced him he sat on the fireplace and performed for Todd all the while playing the "kapano" (that's his word for Piano).

I swear, this kid gets more and more adorable every freaking day!!! And smart too, he even remembered how to sound out the spanish words for Feliz Navidad, which will now always be called "Meliz Mamidad". So in the Christmas spirit, "MELIZ MAMIDAD EVERYONE!"

Pirkle Pie

So I just decided to start a blog because I have so many cool and wonderful things in my life that should be written about...I have great friends, a wonderful boyfriend, and an amazing son. They make me laugh and make me happy so I figured, why not start a blog and record my memories that way so I can look back at them anytime!

My first blog is about Patrick William Pirkle. He is my adoring boyfriend and he is so wonderful. Every time we see each other he does something new to amaze me. Now, this isn't all magical crap like the movies where he whisks me off of my feet and I feel like I'm on cloud 9 or anything. I mean he's romantic but it isn't all about that. It's the little things he does that just floor me each time we see each other. Sometimes, it's the fact that he remembers to pull a Coke Zero out of the fridge and put it on the counter just before we go anywhere because he knows that I will want one, and other times it's something as huge as the fact that he drove here from Vero and took me back to Vero to take care of me after my operation, and then drove me back to Gainesville and then turned around and went back home one weekend.

If you can't tell, we have a long distance relationship right now. We are 3 hours apart and it's ok for now. We both actually enjoy our independence at times so it's not impossible but we do look forward to our weekends or every other weekend together. This past weekend he was here in Gainesville and we were out to dinner. I brought up what sizes he wears because I wanted to be prepared, as always, in case I wanted to get him some clothes for Christmas. Well he whips out his blackberry and on it begins to read all of my sizes (which I knew he had saved). I knew he had saved the sizes but what he started to read after that floored me. He had a list of things he knew I wanted that he had planned on purchasing for me...cute yes...but here is the kicker...one time, a while back, I told him that I really want to have a romantic dinner in Sausalito overlooking the golden gate bridge in San Francisco and the city. I mentioned it in passing but this man of mine, wrote in his blackberry that I wanted to do that! Can you believe that? I mean, this is only the tip of the iceberg with this man. He cooks, he cleans, he has a successful career, he works out (has a gym at home), he is giving/caring, he is romantic, he is sexy, he is HOT, he has a great family, he loves animals, he is amazing with my son, he gardens, he does wood working, he does his own home projects (crown molding, painting, pond building, etc), he can draw, he can take amazing photos, he gets along great with all of my friends, and he loves to travel. I could go on and on...oh and he was patient enough to wait for me to commit to him while I tried and tried to push him away at the beginning! He said he waited because he knew there was something about me that was special...not sure what that is but glad he knows!

I don't know how but I have hit the jack pot here...who could ask for anything more really? We aren't perfect and never will be but I just hope and pray that I don't do anything to mess this up....

The Joker, Christmas, and things we "don’t do"

I have to say that my son is the most adorable person on this planet. Every day he learns more and says more and he is so smart, funny, cute, and amazing!!! For Halloween he insisted on being Darth Vader (or Dark Wader as he calls it) and now he is already planning to be the Joker next year. So today he started referring himself as the Joker, "mommy, the Joker needs breakfast", "mommy, the Joker needs to eat so he can go to school", "Penguin (he calls me Penguin now) will you please put my jacket on"...it's adorable!

He has also discoverd why Christmas is so exciting to kids. He has an E-toys magazine that I have that he has picked a few things out of and every night he looks at them over and over and reminds me (using his cute little fingers like he is counting) that he wants Batman and a Big Fire Truck for Christmas. Every day he asks me, "mommy can we go to Christmas". I can't wait to "go to Christmas" with him. I can only imagin his visit to Santa. I wonder if he will want to bring his magazine to show Santa! LOL!

Also, since he started at his new pre-school he loves to remind me of things we "don't" do. His teachers teach them that they don't do certian things like, we don't hit, we don't run inside, we don't yell inside, etc...well Griffin likes to take this to the next level. He recently said Dammit a few times and got in trouble with me and Todd. So now, he likes to remind me "mommy, we don't say dammit", "mommy, we don't say stupid". I wonder if he is saying that just so he can say the word he isn't supposed to say. Either way it is freaking adorable!
I just never realized that I could love someone so much each and every day. He is so perfectly amazing, even when he is throwing tantrums...LOL! Weeee!

Castles

So Griffin is on the tail end of potty training. He always pees in the potty, sleep in underwear, and has recently been telling me when he has to go poopie in the potty. He still has his occasional slip ups where he goes in his pants but most of the time, if you either catch him trying to hide and go or he tells you, he goes in his little training potty. So....this morning, as we are eating breakfast, he tells me he has to go poopy. As usual, I jump up with excitement and say "ok baby let's go!"

Once he is in the bathroom and sitting on his potty he tells me he needs "piacy" (privacy) and so I close the door and listen outside the door. This morning was different because he kept saying "i'm skeezing (squeezing) my poopies out" so I kept encouraging him and laughing because it was so adorable. Who knew that pooping could be such an adorable activity!

When he was done he yells "I done!" and I am allowed to come into the bathroom again. Now, for those of you who have kids, you will understand how cute this is, but for those of you who don't like to talk about poop you may be grossed out but here it goes. His poop was kind of soft this morning so it kind of piled up into the kid potty. He gets up and says "mommy, it's a castle" to which I respond, "honey that is the best castle I have ever seen". And as I am wiping him and cleaning him up he says, "mommy, the castle is for you"!

Now I know it's kind of gross but I told him that was the nicest gift he could ever give a mommy because he's going in the potty! It was so adorable and hystericall all at the same time! Being a mother is amazing!!!

Pink Cereal

So last night, or I should say this morning, Griffin woke up at 3:30AM and wanted to come sleep with me in my bed which I always welcome because at this point it is the only time he actually stays still long enough for me to cuddle with him. Anyway, last night I brought him to my bed and he requested Pink Cereal. He calls the Frosted Mini Wheats with strawberry flavoring "Pink Cereal" because it’s pink! Anyway, we had run out of the Pink Cereal and I thought once I told him that he would be fine and go back to sleep. I was so groggy I could barely keep my eyes open anyway so I wasn’t looking forward to having to make him cereal and staying up while he ate it. Nope, he then insisted on having "Mommy Cereal". "Mommy Cereal" is the new Grape Nuts Trail Mix Crunch that on most days I eat for breakfast and Dinner. I know, I’m a bad example of a balanced diet but hey, I’m lazy! At least he eats real meals so I’m half way there! At any rate, I got up and made him the cereal realizing he wasn’t going to forget about being hungry and go back to bed and he ate it and we went back to bed. I couldn’t sleep again till around 4:30 unfortunately!

My point in writing about Pink Cereal and Mommy Cereal is not only because I think it is adorable that he has those cute names for the cereal because to me yes, it is brilliant and adorable that he names things, but as I tried to go back to sleep after he ate his Mommy Cereal, I realized that this was really the most amazing love I have ever felt for someone. The reason I say that is because if anyone else in the world had ever made me get up out of a deep sleep at 3:30 in the morning (yes, even you Pirkle) to fix them cereal I would tell them to take a flying leap off of a steep cliff (unless they were on their death bed of course)! And even then I wouldn’t be happy about having to feed whoever cereal at that hour. But, with Griffin I sat there and gave him cereal and we talked about Mac, his truck from the movie Cars that he had chosen to sleep with that night, and pretended to feed Lightning McQueen some of Mommy’s Cereal, because of course if Griffin was hungry so was Lightning right. Even though I was dead tired I was so happy at that moment to be feeding him cereal and interacting with him and was able to endure the pain of being awake and active at that hour. And as I drifted back to sleep closer to 5am I realized that this was real true love that I could never feel for anything or anyone besides my child!

My New Dad

So I had lunch with my awesome friend Tim today and he again gave me some insight into life. He always makes these profound points that maybe I could have seen on my own but he has a way of putting them in front of me so I can see what I need to see! Anyway, I was telling him about going to my Dad's funeral in the beginning of February and how I finally decided to forgive my Dad for never being around and for being awful to me when he was around. I forgave him and realized that he was human and it is unhealthy for me to keep anger and resentment inside so I let it go and had a great experience in California doing that. I realized that I forgave him and was able to actually feel love for him as a human being. I realize that he is now peacful and not angry anymore and with that peach that he has found, maybe he can now give me what I always longed for as a little girl: a daddy to hold me and protect me and tell me everything was going to be ok when things were scary or not good.

With that, I also believe that people who die come back and talk to you in subtle ways like through dreams or leaving signs and stuff. My grandfather has come to me in dreams before and my grandmother has actually seen him in her room at night before. With that belief I was hopeful that my Dad would come back and talk to me in some way. So a few weeks ago I had a dream that he wrote me a note that said "it's ok, I am here and everything is going to be ok". I truly believe that is him talking to me. And now, for the first time in my entire life, I can actually say "I have a Dad". I have never been able to say that and Tim helped me to realize that he can be a Dad to me now more than he ever was able to before. My Dad had so many issues and so much anger that he was incapable of loving me or anyone else for that matter. He obviously did not love himself and was a very conflicted person. Now, he has passed away, his anger is gone and he has peace...now, he can be the father that I never had, he can come to me when I'm down and tell me it will be ok, and maybe he can give me fatherly advice...

It sounds strange because alot of people know what that is like, but I don't. I'm lucky that I had my mom because she was great but there was always a hole. Now it is filled with the hope that he has found peace and the hope that he can now be the father that I never had and maybe the grandfather that Griffin will long for one day...